Leaving Webster Spinning in His Grave

If you think that texting and instant messaging has butchered the English language, then let the following article assure you that dodging cleaver swings is nothing new for our wonderfully perculiar manner of communicating.

Is the following article meant to be sarcastic? It’s a bit hard to tell.

If the editor was sincere, you’ll notice that even in two short paragraphs they were unable to keep their “simpl system” consistent. For example, “have” is spelled both with and without the final “e”.

Despite the arguments presented, I think I’ll stick with dictionary English despite all it’s little quirks and silent letters.

Y Not Mak It Simpl? – Stillwater Messenger – September 22, 1906

A simpl styl of spellin has ben okd by som big men, and it has its gud points. But the list givn out is not big enuf. If we ar to hav a simpl system y not get down to bed rok rite of? Y not include al the words that can be speld in an e-zy way? Y b a thousn yrs doing something that can be don in one? Just think of the trubl to spel rite when it mite be so much ezier to tak a short cut.

Then u cud spel just as wel as the nex man and wud have no caus to blush because u sometims mist the way other folks spel. If we ar to hav reform let us reform in ernest. To b sure the simpl way wud lok funy at first but after a wile it wud be al rite, and think of the savin in tim, ink and papr! Ther is nothing lik getin ust to an inovasun. Then it comes as a mater of corse. We hav the simpl life y not the simpl spellin? We paus for anser.

The Adventures of Captain John Oliver

by Brent Peterson, WCHS Executive Director

In the early days of our country, sailing at sea was difficult and dangerous, and it took a certain type of man to do this. One of these early sea explorers found his way to Washington County, and told many exciting stories of his days on the sea.

John Oliver was born in 1796 in the county of Kent, England. His father died while he was very young, and due to difficult times, Oliver probably never received and proper education. He helped out at the family farm until the age of nine, when his desire to go work on the sea made him leave home.

Oliver’s first voyage was to Canton, China, and it was on this voyage that he learned, first hand, how cruel the treatment of seamen was by the officers. He was often kicked by the officers, and was also ordered to the masthead of the ship during the voyage while the seas were turbulent, just to test his nerve and courage.

On another voyage, this time to Calcutta, the crew deserted the ship due to severe officer cruelty. The crew planned to make their way to Bombay where they might sign on with another ship for a trip back to England. Oliver was with the crew as they made there way inland to avoid the natives along the coast. The group of men were in constant danger from the animals, both day and night. One night, the men made a fire circle and slept inside of it. However, in the morning, the man sleeping next to Oliver had disappeared. It is thought that he was taken by a lion or tiger during the night.

The men finally reached Bombay and signed on with a ship bound for Canton, China. While in Canton, John Oliver went to work on an American ship, and ever after that, Oliver claimed to be an American.

This American ship made many trips to the Marquesas Islands in the Pacific to bring back sandalwood to Canton. The Chinese used the sandalwood in their incense burners and there was a good market for the wood. After one such voyage the ship’s officers decided to leave two men on the island to collect sandalwood prior to their next return visit. Oliver was one of the two. The two sailors stayed with a native tribe who was eager to trade with the white men. However, the sailing ship never returned, and later it was assumed that the ship was captured by the British because this was the time of the War of 1812.

Oliver remained on the island for some time, and during that time he was welcomed into the native tribe. He was honored by participating in a tattooing ceremony in which nearly all of his body was tattooed with many designs and characters.

In 1813, the Commodore Porter of the U.S. Frigate, Essex, landed on the island. Oliver and his companion were able to get passage on the ship. However, the ship was hoping to capture an English ship. The Essex was soon surrounded and the crew taken to Halifax prison, in Nova Scotia. He was transferred to Dartmoor prison in England, just a few miles from his home and family.

Oliver was released after 13 months as a prisoner. He sailed to New York, the first time he had seen his adoptive country.

In 1820 he married Miss Sarah Spear, and the couple had several children. Oliver continued to work as a seaman in and around the Boston Harbor and eventually acquiring the title of Captain.

As his eyes began to fail in his later years, he had to give up his pilot duties, but his son, also named John, followed his father as a harbor pilot until 1848, when he came west and stopped in the Lakeland area of Washington County. Young John pre-empted 160 acres of land, and left his brother Edwin to watch over it, then returned to Boston to bring his father and family to Minnesota.

The family became well-known in the area and the Young John Oliver went on to operated the ferry boat from Lakeland to the Wisconsin shore.

It is everyone’s dream to live a exciting and adventurous life, and in the case of John Oliver, it certainly came true.